An Incomplete Gratitude List

Despite tough times that have knocked me to the ground…

Despite a body that sometimes seems more rust than steel…

Despite a brain that often misfires and works against me…

Despite bouts of anxiety, depression and despair…

I…

• Have lived in the time of Les Miserables and West Wing and Princess Bride.
• Got to read Heller and Vonnegut and Miller and King and Asimov and Heinlein and Clarke and Farmer and Donaldson and Burroughs and Doyle and Tolkien and Lewis and Eliot.
• Got to listen to, and be carried by, (and in most cases see live) Springsteen and Bowie and Drummond and Steinman.
• Got to live in the state’s capital, the nation’s capital, the central coast and more importantly the town that I feel a part of me.
• Got to spend so much time with my dad on the farm at Chatsbury.
• Still get a kick out of full moons and cool sunsets.
• Had great pet dogs and cats.
• Hosted shows on radio.
• Got to write for a living and was entrusted to share people’s intimate stories about the best and worst moments of their lives.
• Got to perform on stage, write a few shows and see some of my words performed to audiences.
• Discovered and became part of Australia’s oldest country rugby club.
• Got to run onto Sydney Football Stadium as a player.
• Got to follow and vicariously be part of the Sea Eagles, the Waratahs, the Wallabies and the baggy Greens.
• Get to eat ice cream and chocolate and roasts and fried food and drink thick shakes.
• Get to walk around with the sun and the wind and the rain on my face and have not had to experienced war and extreme violence.
• Grew up in a family without violence and dysfunction, but filled with love, support and loyalty.
• Met and married the kindest woman in the world.
• Became the father of three people I love more than I knew I could love and who fill me with more pride than I knew I had the capacity for.
• Have people in the world who call me Dad and Poppy… honours I’d come to think I’d never experience.
• Have a best mate, and have a small but steadfast group of friends who not only overlook my flaws and understand the way my brain works but who, even when I’m under fire, stand by my side through thick and thin and believe in the best version of me.
• Have been blessed with a unique brain with an infinite capacity for ideas.
• Have stood up for things, even when they have been unpopular, even when it was at a personal cost.
• Have a heart that can love without limits, and has experienced great love.

Though I don’t always notice it…

Though I don’t always say it…

Though my mind often focuses elsewhere…

I have had an incredibly fortunate life filled with love, support and opportunity.